


The Monster Under The Bed

by Applesandbannas747



Series: Monster [1]
Category: Fence (Comics)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:00:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Applesandbannas747/pseuds/Applesandbannas747
Summary: With a crash and a yelp, Jesse Coste tumbles through Eugene's window and into his life. At first, Eugene only puts up with the captain of his rival team to cover for his little sister, but as time goes on, things get a little more complicated than that and in ways Eugene really can't allow them to be.
Relationships: Eugene Labao/Jesse Coste
Series: Monster [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1921591
Comments: 94
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> technically, this is my second Eugesse fic very loosely inspired by a dumb TikTok I saw, so I guess the moral of the story is that I really am thinking about Fence 24/7 and anything and everything I see, say, or do can and will be connected back to it

Eugene woke up pumped full of adrenaline.

The crashing wasn’t even done sounding by the time he’d rolled out of bed and to his feet, reaching for his old baseball bat and fully prepared to clobber whatever the hell was making all that noise in his room.

The moon from the open window danced off golden hair and a mass untangled itself from the floor, standing up to full height—six feet tall, at least—eyes going wide enough for the moon to reflect off _them_ too as he took in Eugene. It was the yelp that stopped Eugene’s momentum, the flinch that made him lower his bat.

“What the _fuck_ are you doing in my house?” Eugene snarled at the boy.

“I’m—I’m sorry,” he stammered, still shrinking away from Eugene. He glanced at the window like he was considering hauling himself back through it. “I must have come in the wrong window—wait!” he yelped again, hands raising as Eugene’s bat did.

“What room were you trying to get into?” Eugene demanded.

“I—Luna’s. I was supposed to be meeting a girl named Luna tonight but I think I got—got it wrong.” It was said in a high and breathless voice.

Eugene could hear feet pounding on the stairs, voices calling. He looked at the boy again, then threw down his bat, but he reached out and snatched the boy, clamping fingers tightly around a bicep and yanking his face in close with his other hand. The boy looked as frightened by this as the bat, but he only whimpered this time. The footsteps outside were near now.

“You came for Luna?”

“Yes,” the boy nodded frantically, “I didn’t know she had a brother.”

So he didn’t even know about the boys, then. Good.

“How old are you, whelp?”

“Sixteen,” the boy answered without hesitation.

Eugene let him go just as the door burst open.

Dad was first through, tomahawk in his hand, Mom right behind with phone and mace in hers. And behind them crept four little pairs of watching eyes that _really_ shouldn’t have followed. If this had been a real invasion, if there’d been real danger, Eugene wouldn’t want all his little siblings lined up right outside his door to get murdered.

“What’s going on?” Dad asked, voice harsher than Eugene had ever heard it. The boy—the one that had just been shrinking away from Eugene—shrunk _into_ him at the sound of it and at the sight of the blade, glinting in the moonlight.

“Eugene, are you okay?” Mom asked.

Eugene took in their worried faces, then skimmed behind their shoulders and found Luna’s face. Her eyes were wide too. And she was gnawing at her bottom lip, hands wringing. She was clearly in panic mode.

_You owe me big time for this,_ he thought at his baby sister. Not such a baby anymore. Fifteen. And old enough to be sneaking boys in through her window.

“Everything’s fine,” Eugene said, forcing his voice to level. “I’m fine, nothing’s wrong. I’m sorry for the scare.”

“Eugene,” Dad said again, but not scarily enough to make the boy duck even more behind Eugene. “What’s going on? Who is this?”

“Shi—I’m sorry,” Eugene said again. “This is all a big misunderstanding.”

“We’re waiting for an explanation, Gene,” Mom said, soft and coaxing. But her phone was still dialed to 9-1-1.

She flipped the switch just inside Eugene’s door like she had a million times before to wake him up. Light flooded the room right as Eugene looked over to the boy that had stumbled through his window and made such a ruckus doing so.

And he recognized the boy.

In the light, Jesse Coste was unmistakable. Unmistakable and impossible. Eugene was amazed he hadn’t recognized his rival captain but, then, the context for this was so out of whack, how could he have?

“This is Jesse,” Eugene said of the boy cowering behind him. When he reached for a hand, he was relieved to find Jesse either smart enough to let him have it or too shocked to pull it away. “He’s my boyfriend.”

Eugene let the words settle over everyone. Finally, Mom clicked off her phone. Luna looked dumbfounded; it was a good thing no one else was looking at her or she might have blown her own cover.

“And I was trying to sneak him in,” Eugene continued slowly, pushing out the lie in careful and steady measure. “And I know I shouldn’t have and that it’s wrong and stupid of me to have tried but he’s just got back from a fencing competition in Germany and I wanted to see him.”

“But I tripped coming through the window,” Jesse said in a wavering and unsure voice that was unrecognizable as his own. Eugene had heard Jesse speak before and it was always with surety and pomp and a confidence that was begging to be taken down a notch. But now when he spoke, it was clear he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to, if he’d just make it worse. Eugene saw Mom’s eyes soften. Just for that, Jesse’s pitiful voice had been worth sharing.

“Christ, Eugene, you scared the living shit out of all of us,” Dad said, dropping his guard and pushing a hand through his hair.

“I know. I’m sorry. Super sorry. I won’t ever do something this stupid again,” Eugene promised.

Dad nodded. Mom too. Nobody knew what else to say. Everybody was completely out of their element.

“I’ll—,” Jesse’s voice failed him, but he gulped and tried again, face lit up redder than Eugene had known a face _could_ light up. “I’ll just leave now,” he said, “I’m so sorry for the intrusion. I—I’m sorry.”

Jesse finally stepped out of Eugene’s shadow and his hand slipped away when he made for the door. The Labao family parted to let him through. He must have found the front door all right because they heard it open and then shut.

“Holy shit,” Junior said. Mom didn’t even scold him for the cursing. It was aptly put.

“I didn’t know you were gay,” Marcus chirped. For this, Mom _did_ issue a scolding.

“Marcus Labao, have some tact.”

“I’m not gay,” Eugene felt compelled to clarify. He saw Luna’s eyes cut sharply to him. But he wasn’t going to out and tell them the truth now just because Jesse had safely escaped. “I’m bi. I like girls too. It’s just that, right now, I like Jesse.”

“You still can’t be sneaking people into the house,” Mom told him. He nodded.

“I know. I’m sorry.” He felt like a broken record.

Mom and Dad exchanged a look.

“We would have been happy to have him, Gene,” Dad said tentatively, still out of his element. He tapped the flat of his tomahawk against his leg like a nervous tick. “If you’d asked us if he could come over, we would have been happy to meet him.”

_Crap._

This wasn’t a side effect he’d foreseen. It wasn’t one he liked.

“No, I know,” he tried to correct it. “I didn’t think you’d—have a problem with Jesse. And me. I just—I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“As long as you know that we love you no matter what,” Dad said.

“I do. I know. I love you too. And I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“Yes, well,” Mom said, turning to herd the others back off to bed. “It was quite a fright but everything’s fine now. And you should go make sure that boy of yours gets back to his car safely, I’m sure he’s as shaken as the rest of us.” She frowned. “It’s not good to drive with adrenaline in the body, it can make you jittery, maybe he ought to stay here tonight. On the couch.”

“I’m sure he’ll want to go home,” Eugene said, but she looked hard at him and he sighed, pulling on some sneakers over his bare feet—only this once and only because he didn’t have time to bother with socks if he had any hope of catching up with Jesse. “But I’ll go ask him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. listen. I don't really know if it's normal to have an assortment of blades and weapons in your room so if Eugene's dad just casually having a tomahawk on hand is weird, I'm sorry. It seemed like a reasonable thing for him to have to me lmao


	2. Chapter 2

Jesse had to have been smart enough to park a distance from the house to sneak in. A car pulling in front of their house in the dead of night might have garnered attention if anyone had looked out front on a whim or heard the engine or seen the headlights. If Eugene had been directing someone to come sneak into his room or been the trying to sneak into it himself, the park was the obvious place to ditch the car.

Sure enough, when Eugene’s jog down the grassy hill brought him close enough to the little parking lot, he saw a lone car and a lone figure trekking to it. As he got closer, Eugene slowed. Then, with all the non-threatening gentleness he could muster, he called out.

“Jesse?”

Jesse yelped yet again, spinning on Eugene and wielding his key like a pathetic little blade.

“Oh, it’s just you,” Jesse said, letting out a shaky breath.

“Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Too late for that.”

“Payback for the scare you gave _me,”_ Eugene answered.

“I didn’t expect you to come after me. How’d you get here so fast?”

“Shortcut. I took the hill instead of walking down and around. You okay to drive?”

“Fine,” Jesse said shortly, fidgeting with his key. He probably wanted nothing more than to get into his car and drive away. “I know you, don’t I?” he asked eventually, the question blurting from him unbidden.

“In a way. I fence at Kings Row.”

“Ah.” Jesse squinted at him, the dim street lamps and bright moon illuminating them both. “You do look somewhat familiar. Funny, I don’t remember fencing a Labao.”

“You didn’t. I was a reserve last year. But I’ll be fencing you this year so watch out.”

“Well, that explains how you knew about Germany, anyway.”

“Oh, no, don’t go getting the wrong idea. Everything I know about you, I’ve learned against my will. I’m not some Jesse Coste fanboy.”

“If you say so. But thank you…Gene? Eugene?”

“For not bashing your head in with my bat, sacrificing you to my dad’s ax, not letting my mom call the police on you, or covering for you?”

“For all of it, I guess. Did you—I mean, if you even like boys, did you out yourself for me? They all seemed really surprised.”

“Yeah, I suppose I outed myself for this fun little lie, but I wasn’t really closeted either, it’s just never come up before. Anyway, I think it worked to our advantage that my family didn’t know I like guys too. Mom and Dad were cool about it mostly because they didn’t want me to get the wrong idea about their concerns with me sneaking a guy over.”

“Why did you?”

“Sneak a guy over? I didn’t, actually. That’d be my little sister that did something so fucking dumb.”

“I mean why did you save me?”

“Collateral,” Eugene shrugged. “I was saving Luna’s ass, not yours. She’s not a kid anymore but she’s our only girl and she is only fifteen, I figured my parents would be cooler with the idea of me having someone over for sex than with Luna doing the same.”

“We weren’t—,”

“Man, don’t even try. I’m not stupid. Luna’s a big girl, she can make her own decisions. Even if they’re objectively awful ones.”

Jesse looked down at his feet, blushed all the way through again. “That was nice of you to take the bullet for her,” he said quietly instead of spouting out more bullshit protests.

“She’s going to be paying off this debt for years,” Eugene assured him lest he get too high an opinion of Eugene’s generosity.

“And me?”

“Sure, you can pay off your debts with your body.” Eugene only said it to see how Jesse would react and he laughed at the glare he got, set in an even redder face and accompanied by spluttering that didn’t even get to forming real words. “I’m joking, bro. You’re Luna’s.”

* * *

Luna was in Eugene’s room when he got back home after seeing Jesse off. He looked around to make sure no one else was skulking about and then closed the door.

“Good,” he said. “You’re here. I assumed I’d have to track you down to have the talk we very clearly need to have.”

“I can explain,” Luna said, as nervous as the time she’d said that to Mom a year ago after running the car into the garage.

“Yeah, I bet you can,” Eugene smirked. Then he sat heavy on his bed and patted it for Luna to follow. She did. “Lunes, you’re always going to be my baby sister, but I get it. I was about your age when I started sneaking around with people too. So I’m not going to demand you explain anything to me. But you’ve got to know tonight was a bad move. He climbed in through the _wrong_ fucking window, for fuck’s sake. I can’t believe you want anything to do with a twit like him but, hey, there’s no accounting for taste.”

Luna shrugged. “It’s not really like that.”

“Like what?”

“It’s not like I like him like _that.”_

Eugene nodded. He understood about fuck buddies.

“Thank god for that, honestly. I was wondering how we were going to pull off a boyfriend switch.”

Luna laughed, shoving her shoulder against Eugene’s. “Didn’t think that far ahead?”

“Hey, I was busy saving you and your little buddy’s hides, show some respect.”

“Thank you, Gene,” Luna said, soft and without the bite of sarcasm or insincerity that she often spoke with lately. “I don’t know how I would have explained to Mom and Dad. God, they would have _freaked.”_

“No kidding.” Eugene looped an arm around her shoulders and gave a quick squeeze. “And you’re welcome.”

“I’m sorry you’ve got a fake boyfriend to deal with now.”

“Hey, as long as my fake boyfriend isn’t your real boyfriend that you plan on introducing to Mom and Dad in the future, I’m not too worried about it.”

“That really would have been something, though. Like a soap opera.”

“That shit’s better off staying on the TV.” Eugene let Luna stand after another soft chuckle and a punch to the arm. But he couldn’t stop himself from standing with her. “And, you know, I hate to do this but I feel like I robbed Mom and Dad of the opportunity to make sure you’re all set, but you’re being safe, right?”

“God, Eugene, please do _not_ try giving me a sex talk right now.”

“I know, I know,” Eugene held up his hands in surrender. “I know you’re a smart girl, Luna. You always have been. But even smart girls make dumb mistakes. Just, don’t do anything you don’t want to do—,” Luna groaned and plugged her ears up with her fingers because not even _she_ wore headphones to bed. “And if you need anything, let me know,” Eugene persisted. “Okay?” He stared her down until she nodded.

“Yes, fine, okay. I promise you don’t need to worry about me. Now let’s please never talk about this again.”

“Sure thing. Goodnight, kiddo.”

“Goodnight, Gene. Love you.”

“You too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	3. Chapter 3

After his talk with Luna, Eugene assumed the whole Jesse business was dealt with. Mostly dealt with. Mom and Dad kept asking after him, hinting that they’d like to meet Jesse. But they didn’t want to push him, either, so Eugene had an easy enough time dismissing their vague suggestions that his boyfriend should come over. Jesse was a busy person, after all, his schedule was packed and he couldn’t be expected to drop everything just to come meet his alleged boyfriend’s family.

Eugene didn’t plan to keep up the lie for too much longer. He already had plans to blame busy schedules and personal competition getting in the way of their relationship. A week or so more and he’d deliver the news that he’d broken up with Jesse. And that would be that. Eugene didn’t expect to see the boy again until the fencing season started up, and he didn’t plan on talking to him at all.

For now, Eugene sat in his room with a bag of pretzels and his computer on his chest, playing a show he’d been binging since ten. The clock in the corner of his screen showed that it was now well past one in the morning, but Eugene couldn’t stop watching.

 _I’m never telling Luna about this,_ Eugene thought as he clicked onto the next episode of what Luna would call ‘a show for moms and grannies.’ She probably wasn’t wrong, but that didn’t make it any easier to stop watching. A rattling started up and an earthquake rumbled on screen, but when the earthquake stopped, the rattling persisted. Eugene recognized the direction of the sound now that the show had quieted down. It was just wind rattling against the window.

Eugene was right about the window but that was all he’d gotten right. In spilled Jesse Coste through the window with a halo of golden hair. Eugene watched in disbelief as Jesse finished pulling his long legs over the sill, landing gracefully on his feet this time instead of in a lump on the floor. When he was through, he turned around and pulled the window shut.

Maybe this was a sign that Eugene should start using the lock.

“I thought both you and Luna would have learned your lesson by now,” Eugene said with a sigh. Then he held out the bag of pretzels. “Want some?”

“No, thank you,” Jesse returned, cool and unconcerned.

Eugene shrugged and retracted the snacks. Then he pushed his computer aside and sat up in his bed, stretching.

“Really, it’s condoms I should be offering you, isn’t it?”

Jesse’s cool and unconcerned demeanor blew away immediately at that. He blushed pink and pursed his lips.

“Doesn’t it bother you to talk about your sister like that?” he asked.

“Luna can get up to whatever she wants. Anyway, _she’s_ never had any shame nosing into my business, I’m only returning the favor. You _are_ using condoms, right?”

“Would you stop saying that?” Jesse snapped.

“Would you stop using my room as a way station? How’d you manage to fuck up on the windows twice in a row?”

“I didn’t fuck up on it this time, Luna says her window’s stuck so I’ve got to use yours. She didn’t warn you?”

“No, she did not. Little brat.”

“I’m not a brat.”

Jesse’s scowl looked more like a pout, which wasn’t helped by his blush. Was it his skin that facilitated such deep and long-lasting blushes, or was that just a Jesse-Coste-in-particular thing? Eugene decided not to tell Jesse that he’d really meant to call _Luna_ a brat, not him. If the shoe fit, why take it off?

“So tell me, little brat, is your plan to sneak through my house—which you’ve only been in once before, mainly to leave it—and find Luna’s room without getting caught? I’ve got a big family and, sure, they might all be asleep and out of the way but that’s a dangerous gamble to make in my experience.”

Eugene heard the creak of a floorboard and suddenly felt like _he_ was in the middle of a dangerous gamble. One that his little sister had borrowed all his chips for.

“Shhhhit,” Eugene hissed under his breath before bounding off his bed and grabbing Jesse by the shoulders. Bad idea. The guy yelped. Again. How much yelping did Jesse do on a regular basis? More than Eugene’s neighbors’ chihuahua, it was starting to seem. “Get under the bed,” he said, shoving Jesse toward the bed in question.

“What? Why?”

“How stupid are you? Just get under there and shut up.”

At the soft knock at the door, Jesse caught on and dove under the bed. Eugene dove on top of it, pulling on his blankets just as his mom asked to come in.

“I thought I heard something,” she said when Eugene told her she could enter.

“Would you believe me if I said I was sleep talking?” Eugene asked innocently, pretending like he was trying to push his computer out of sight.

“You’ll be back to school before you know it, Gene, you should try adjusting your sleep schedule to something workable.”

Eugene thought this sleep schedule was perfectly workable but he nodded for his mom. She edged into the room and closed the door. Mom was like a bloodhound, she could tell something was off.

“Is that boy of yours here again?” she asked lightly, glancing at the window, which was, thankfully, in its normal state of being, shut tight but unlocked.

 _That boy of yours._ Mom said it with a soft voice and a secret smile, like it was an endearment.

 _That boy of yours._ Like Eugene ought to be happy to hear Jesse called that. Maybe if he was dating him for real, Eugene would have been.

“Jesse?” Eugene asked, playing dumb. “Oh, yeah, totally, Mom. After Dad tried to murder my boyfriend the last time, I thought it’d be a great idea to try the same stint again. He’s hiding under my bed if you want to check.”

Eugene might have told imaginary Jesse to say hello if he didn’t think the entirely real Jesse under his bed might be dumb enough to crawl out and actually say hi.

Mom laughed a soft, exhale-y sort of laugh and came across the room to ruffle Eugene’s hair like he was still a kid and then smooth it back to drop a kiss on his forehead. Then she held out her hand and Eugene relinquished the pretzels to her. She took one for herself before rolling the bag up. Eugene thought she’d leave now, could see her readying to. But concern caught her face and she abandoned the swivel before even starting it.

“Your dad wouldn’t have hurt Jesse. I hope you made that clear to him.”

“I did.” Eugene had said no such thing to Jesse but Luna probably had.

“I just feel that we all made first impressions we’re not proud of and I’d like a chance to correct that. You’re so grown up now—a senior already. I can’t believe it. I know you have your own life, but I’d like to be a part of it. And if Jesse is a part of it, too, I’d like to meet him.”

“I know,” Eugene said. “It’s just that I’m not sure he’s really going to be a part of my life for much longer.”

Mom’s frown deepened and she sat on the edge of his bed, putting aside the pretzels to fold her hands in her lap.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. Jesse just causes a lot of trouble and I don’t know that I want to deal with it.”

It occurred to Eugene that moving up the timeline for his break up might not be the best idea if Luna planned to continue sneaking Jesse in. But it was only supposed to be a one time fix and he’d thought she’d understood that. And besides, if anyone found Eugene’s supposed boyfriend in Luna’s room instead of his, it wouldn’t be any better for anyone than if Jesse wasn’t just an _ex-boyfriend_. Luna could figure it out on her own from here.

“Do you think it’s fair to only blame him for all the trouble?” Mom asked gently. “I’m sure he’s a very sweet young man, and he seemed very fond of you.” Eugene didn’t think cowering behind him counted as fondness but he didn’t dispute it. “And you clearly take very good care of him. I don’t want you throwing away your relationship because of what happened last time.”

“No, it’s not that. And I’m not just talking about the poor first impression he made here either. I just don’t know if it’ll work out, that’s all.”

Mom looked at him with sad eyes and then stood with a sigh.

“I think it’s wonderful, Gene, that you’re dating again. If this boy makes you happy, even a little, promise me you’ll try to work it out before you break up with him.”

“Alright, alright, I promise I’ll try. But I don’t promise it’ll work.”

“That’s all I can ask for. I’m going to go back to bed now, I hope you’ll get some sleep too.”

“I will,” Eugene agreed, accepting another kiss on the head from Mom before she left. She must have been feeling generous because she didn’t even take the pretzels.

When it was clear Mom wasn’t coming back, Eugene knocked against his bedframe.

“You can come out now.”

Jesse crawled out. Shimmied out, more like. He looked ridiculous when he was half out, legs still swallowed by the dark but ass displayed for the world to see. Actually, from this new angle, Eugene could almost understand why Luna was interested in him.

“What was that about?” Jesse asked, climbing to his feet.

“None of your business. And you’d better not come back here after tonight. Or if you do, I don’t want to be involved in it.”

“Luna’s window is stuck.”

“I’ll fix it.”

“Can you?”

“I can figure out most things.”

“How macho of you,” Jesse said, rolling his eyes. “And, by the way, it’s hilarious that you think _you’d_ be the one ending even a fake relationship with me. I’m the bigger catch, nobody breaks up with me.”

“I was delighted when Luna told me her thing with you isn’t that deep. I think I’d choke on your arrogance if you joined the family and I had to see you all the time.”

“Whatever. Why don’t you show me to your sister’s room now?”

“Volunteering me to be your escort? Didn’t you tell her you’re here? And, at this point, wouldn’t it be easier for her to try and sneak you in through the front door instead of my window? I just really hope this whole arrangement was your idea because I like to think Luna’s smarter than this.”

“Fine, I’ll find it alone and if your mom sees me, I’ll just start crying because my boyfriend broke up with me by talking to his mom while he hid me under the bed. I’m sure she’ll take pity on me.”

“If you want to be that pathetic, go for it.”

Jesse made a move for the door. Without even standing up, Eugene darted a hand out to catch Jesse around the arm and pull him back. Jesse careened onto the bed but muffled any sound—probably a yelp—he’d been about to make in surprise.

“I win,” Jesse said smugly after recovering from his tumble and sitting up. “I knew you wouldn’t let me go.”

“You’ve got a strange definition of winning. Fine, I’ll show you how to get to Luna’s room. But we’ve got to wait at least half an hour to make sure my mom’s gone back to bed.”

“Half an hour?” Jesse asked in dismay. “I don’t want to spend half an hour with you.”

“Just shut up and we’ll get through it. Trust me, I am way less happy about all of this than you are. _Way_ less happy.”

Eugene pulled his computer back onto his lap, intending to play his show.

“Actually,” Jesse interrupted before he could even unlock his computer. “Can I have one after all?”

Eugene glanced to the bag of snacks Jesse was eyeing and shrugged, handing it over.

“Luna never mentioned she had a brother that fenced,” Jesse said, munching on a pretzel. “She never mentioned any brothers, actually, but I would think you’re more relevant than the little ones.”

“Luna is a girl of few words.”

“That’s true.”

“She’s bored to death by fencing. How’d she end up with you?” Eugene was a little curious despite himself and had to ask, given the opportunity.

“We met at the cinema. She didn’t even know who I am, which I’m slightly offended at now that I know you fence so she can’t be completely oblivious to that world.”

“You’re not that special, get over it,” Eugene said with a laugh. He could imagine Luna’s disappointment when she’d found out Jesse was as obsessed with fencing as Eugene was.

“Special enough that you knew who I was. And that I was in Germany.”

“You got me,” Eugene agreed grimly. “I was keeping tabs on the likely candidates for the fencing teams at our biggest rival schools next year, that totally speaks more about your specialness than my diligence.”

Jesse paused to look at Eugene hard.

“You said you were a reserve.”

“I was.”

“You’re speaking a lot like a captain right now.”

“I’ve got a good shot at it.”

“Congratulations.”

Eugene paused to look at Jesse hard.

“That’s it?” he asked. “No catch? What about a backhanded compliment? A boast about being captain of your team since you were a sophomore, perhaps?”

“No. Just a congratulation.” Jesse wiggled back on the bed some more, pushing Eugene’s legs out of the way so he could sit with his back against the wall. “I remember how excited I was when I got the captaincy. It’s a big deal.”

“You think so?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because it’s high school level stuff. I thought you’d take it for granted, being as big as you are on the national level.”

“I like winning,” Jesse hummed. “And being good at things. And getting appointed to high positions. Captaining my team is important to me, same as fencing on a national level is important to me.”

“Huh. That’s almost tolerable of you.”

“You must have very low expectations of me if _that_ makes you think I’m more likable than you expected,” Jesse scowled. Then stuffed three pretzels into his cheeks.

Eugene swallowed a laugh.

“You look like an angry squirrel,” he explained when Jesse turned chubby cheeks and scowling eyes on him. The observation only made Jesse look like an indignant squirrel instead of an angry one. But he did hurry to chew his food. “So,” Eugene said, closing up his computer again, “tell me about Germany.”

And Jesse did. When he was finished talking—bookended with tales from the plane ride there and the plane ride home—Eugene was confident his mom was asleep again.

He slipped out of bed and motioned for Jesse to follow.

“Follow me exactly,” Eugene warned. “And don’t make a sound.”

“Okay,” Jesse agreed.

But Jesse almost lost Eugene in the living room and had to call for Eugene to wait up. Eugene glanced up the stairs. His and Luna’s were the only bedrooms on the ground floor, which was lucky for them. But the others could easily spot them from the top of the stairs when they were in the living room. Eugene grabbed Jesse’s hand and hauled him along, only tapping his knuckles to Luna’s door once before opening it and throwing Jesse inside.

Luna looked up from her phone.

“Thanks for getting him here safely,” she told Eugene, unconcerned.

“You are a cheeky little shit,” Eugene said, but he had to admire her for it. “And we’re talking about this tomorrow.”

“Whatever.”

“Whatever yourself.”

Eugene was already closing her door when he heard a _goodnight_ that hadn’t come from his little sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha guess who did not adjust any aspect of a sleep schedule to anything remotely workable before school started and is now suffering for it?


	4. Chapter 4

Eugene wasn’t overly surprised the third time Jesse came crawling through his window. He’d thought about locking it. He _should_ lock it. Luna’s window was entirely missing the handle and they couldn’t find the replacement part, but that wasn’t his problem. Jesse wasn’t his problem. But he left his window unlocked anyway and woke up several nights after the second visit to a shadow slinking across his room. This time, his heart didn’t even skip a single beat.

“I told you to cut this out,” Eugene said, voice scratchy in sleep.

“Sorry,” Jesse twitched. It was dark and Eugene was groggy but he assumed if he’d been able to see Jesse’s expression, he’d have classified the twitch as a wince instead. “Did I wake you?”

“What do you think?”

“Sorry.”

“Why are you back here?”

“To see Luna?”

Jesse was shifting uncomfortably. If he didn’t want interrogations from Eugene, he should take more care to keep Eugene from knowing he was here.

“I told her she’s got to find a new way to get you in or else stop inviting her beau over. And you,” he added, finally sitting up, “should stop accepting her invitation.”

“You might be her older brother but you’ve got no sway over me.”

“No sway? I could lock you out. I could expose this little operation to my parents. I could deck you for peacocking around on your way to my _baby sister’s_ room.”

“I don’t think you’ll do any of that. You haven’t yet. I’ll be quieter next time, you won’t even notice me.”

“I’m sure I will. It’d be bad news if I started sleeping through break-ins entirely. I’m already so used to this that a real murderer could ax me before I realized it’s not you.”

“I didn’t see any ax murderers on my way in tonight.”

“Damn, if an ax murderer’s gonna pop up around here, them coming on a night you’re skulking about would be a useful alarm.”

“Are you implying you’d sacrifice me to an ax murderer?”

“Absolutely.”

“I’m leaving.”

“Good.” Then, “Wait. Make Luna come pick you up. I don’t trust you to get there alone. And if you get caught, I’m the one who’ll have to explain.”

“Then why don’t you take me yourself?”

“Because it’s Luna’s job to take you.”

“She won’t want to.”

“Then you can leave the way you came and wait for her window to get fixed.”

“I thought you said you could figure that out.”

“I did figure it out. Doesn’t mean I have all the parts I need to fix it yet. Text Luna.”

“Fine.”

Jesse tapped at his phone, the brightness of it hurting Eugene’s eyes. He punched his pillow and buried his head back into it, ignoring the boy and his bright phone in the room.

“You’re going back to sleep?” Jesse demanded.

“Duh.”

“But I’ve got to wait here until Luna comes. You’re just going to ignore me and sleep?”

“Luna’s room is thirty seconds away, not thirty minutes.”

“She doesn’t want to come,” he complained. “She just texted ‘lmao no just come here.’ I tried explaining that I’ve been held hostage but I’m sure you know that won’t hurry her any.”

“She _is_ stubborn,” Eugene admitted. “She’ll outwait any task she doesn’t want to do.”

“So can’t you just take me?”

“You’ve said that twice now,” Eugene yawned. “Do you _want_ me to make the obvious joke here? More obviously than I already have?”

“What are you—I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Shh! I know, but you _did_ say it. Twice.”

“You’ve got a horrid sense of humor.”

“I’ve got a great sense of humor, it’s not my fault if you’re not refined enough to appreciate it.”

“Actually, I think I’m too refined.”

“Did you just call yourself pompous?”

“What? Not at all, how did you get that out of—one second,” Jesse cut off, pulling out his phone. It had chimed. Actually chimed.

“Yo, dumbass, why don’t you silence that? Since you’re on a bit of a stealth mission and all.”

“I forgot.”

“Is your phone not always on silent?”

“No.”

“What kind of psychopath…”

“Luna says she’s on her way.”

And being on her way meant that she was opening the door as Jesse told Eugene she was on her way.

“I’ll take him off your hands now,” Luna said, beckoning for Jesse to follow her.

“This is not a long term solution, Luna,” Eugene warned. He didn’t think Luna took it to heart as she waved him off and took her boy from his room.

Little sisters. What pains in the ass.

Eugene turned over in bed and went back to sleep, expecting the rest of the night to be uneventful. But it was far from morning when he woke again to his door creeping open.

Eugene wasn’t sure what to expect anymore when he rolled over to see who was intruding on his sleep so soon.

“You again?” Eugene asked grumpily.

“It’s safer to leave this way than the front door. Less noticeable noise. And Luna didn’t want to come out to lock the door again.”

“Jesus fuck. She’s not a great host, is she?”

“I don’t mind.”

”No, you wouldn’t. Because I’m, apparently, the biggest pushover in the world and am handling all the host business for her. Can I offer you anything to eat? A drink, perhaps?”

“If you’ve got anything, I won’t say no.”

“I was joking.”

“I know. But you did say it.”

“Let’s see,” Eugene said, reaching down to feel around for the night’s pilfered snacks. “Today on the menu, we have Cheez-Its.”

Jesse took the box from Eugene. Eugene let his arm drop.

“How can you relax like that?” Jesse asked over the soft crinkle of plastic bag in cardboard box.

“Like what?”

“With your arm dangling off the bed. Aren’t you worried about—,”

“Monsters? Man, I’m not ten. Send me a monster any day of the week, I’m not scared of that bullshit. But, unfortunately, the only monster that’s ever been under my bed is you.”

“That’s good to know. I worried I might have been cozying up to a ghoul under there the other night.”

Eugene laughed.

“You don’t want a ghoul girlfriend?”

“Does anyone?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“I’m not going to ask the follow-up question to that because I don’t want to know.”

“If you change your mind, I’ve got a list.”

“A list?”

“Yeah, of most fuckable monsters and cryptids.”

“I think it’s time for me to leave.”

“If I’d known that’s all it takes to get you to leave, I’d have pulled out the list sooner.”

“Goodbye. Sorry for waking you up.”

“Twice.”

“Twice.”

“Yeah, g’night. Drive safe.”

“If you insist.”

Jesse climbed out the window again and it wasn’t until he was long gone that Eugene realized he’d taken the Cheez-Its.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes I can just feel in my bones when there's a specific line I know a certain person (or people) is gonna comment on and this chapter has one of them. I'll keep you guys updated on if i was right XD


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was right.

“I brought you Cheez-Its,” Jesse said only two nights later.

Eugene watched as he pulled himself the rest of the way through the window and then strode easily across the room, thrusting the new box out in front of him. Eugene took it from him with a startled smile.

“You are the strangest person I’ve ever met.”

“Hardly. I’m not strange at all, unless being exceptional in almost every way counts as strange.”

“Your insistence on coming through my room counts as strange and you know it.”

“Maybe. What are you doing up?”

“Playing Sims.” Eugene spun his laptop to show Jesse.

“Why is that man in a hotdog suit?”

“Why aren’t you in a hotdog suit?”

“I think _you’re_ the strangest person here. Anyway, are you going to be my escort tonight or are we waiting on Luna?”

Eugene thought about it before deciding on standing.

“Come on, your princeliness. I’ll take you to Luna. I need to grab something to drink to go with the crackers anyway.”

Eugene dropped Jesse with the Lunatic and went to grab a water bottle from the kitchen, expecting to be on his own for some time. But it was hardly an hour before Jesse returned to his room. Alone, Eugene noticed. Luna was impossible.

“Hey, before you go,” Eugene said after the door closed, “come here. I’ve got something to show you.”

Jesse edged over suspiciously, but Eugene only spun around his screen again.

“Is that…?”

“You,” Eugene nodded. “In a hotdog suit.”

“I hate it. Put him in something better.”

“Nope.”

Jesse bent over and slid fingers onto the trackpad and clicked around fruitlessly.

“How do you make them change clothes?” he demanded in an exasperated huff.

“You don’t. All his outfits are the hotdog suit.”

“There’s got to be a closet or something around here,” Jesse muttered, leading the sim through his little house. But Eugene hadn’t wasted money on a dresser. “There’s got to be a way to get him out of that. Poor thing, subjected to your cruelty.”

Jesse relinquished the controls to pull out his phone. Googling how to play _The Sims_ , Eugene bet. Sure enough, he made a sound of victory and elbowed Eugene over to make room for himself on the edge of the bed before pulling the computer into his lap. Eugene let him change little Sim Jesse’s clothes and redecorate his house. But as soon as Jesse left, Eugene put him back in a hotdog suit.

* * *

Jesse continued his trend of shamelessly traipsing into Eugene’s room twice a night several times a week. Eugene was way too used to it.

“Can I ask you something?” Jesse asked as he carefully closed Eugene’s door tonight.

“Nope.”

“What happened with Elaine?”

“Where’d you hear that name?” Eugene asked sharply.

Jesse squirmed but he didn’t drop it.

“Luna mentioned her. She was your last girlfriend, wasn’t she? Your mom said something about—,”

“How is it,” Eugene asked, “that Luna never mentioned me before but now you two are talking about my ex? I would have thought you had better things to do.”

“We weren’t talking about it,” Jesse flushed. “It just came up. And I wondered about it.”

“Well, don’t.”

“Fine. I’ll just leave, then.”

Eugene didn’t stop Jesse’s exit or apologize for snapping. It wasn’t any of Jesse’s business and it wasn’t his job to keep Jesse happy.

* * *

It was four days before Eugene saw Jesse again.

“If I didn’t know better,” Eugene said without looking up when he heard the window open, “I’d think you were sulking because I wouldn’t tell you my personal business.”

“Good thing you know better, then,” Jesse said tightly.

“Yeah. Good thing. C’mon, I’ll take you to Luna.”

Jesse followed Eugene through the house without a hitch. Maybe he really was fine to navigate it himself now. But, unlike Luna, Eugene would really rather be on hand in a disaster than abandon Jesse to it.

“Have fun,” he said in parting. Luna flipped him off, which was rude of her after all the trouble she was putting him through.

It was longer than usual before Jesse came slinking back.

“Making up for lost time?” Eugene asked and Jesse made a face.

“You’re gross.”

 _“I’m_ gross? What are you doing here?” Eugene watched Jesse light up red before nodding. “That’s what I thought.”

“Is that Sims again?” Jesse asked with a tilt of his chin toward Eugene’s laptop.

“Yeah. I’m not playing with you tonight, though. Hotdog Boy isn’t very interesting.”

“I’m—I mean, _he’s_ perfectly interesting.”

“So you think I should play with you?”

“Would you not say it like that?”

“No, that would defeat the purpose.”

“What purpose?”

“Bugging you. But fine, here, we can go check in on your little mini-me.”

“You’ve put him back in a hotdog suit,” Jesse accused when Eugene loaded the save. “And I spent ages picking out the perfect outfits for him last time!”

“Hush, I don’t need someone hearing your shrill voice and coming to investigate.”

“My voice isn’t shrill.”

“It is when you get indignant.”

“Move over, I’m fixing him.”

Eugene moved over, passing off his computer.

Jesse’s shoulder jammed against Eugene’s and his right leg all but overlapped Eugene’s left one. It wasn’t that Eugene didn’t sit like this with his friends, it was that he hadn’t realized _Jesse_ counted under that category. Friends. But he must or Eugene wouldn’t tolerate him forcing his way through his room and onto his bed. The alternate explanation was just too weird, the one that involved Jesse only being his little sister’s boy toy.

“He does look quite a bit like me, doesn’t he?” Jesse said, spinning his sim around to check his outfit.

“I’ve got a good eye.”

“For my face?”

Eugene grabbed Jesse’s face in one hand, clamping fingers around his chin and pulling his face close. Jesse’s smirk broke the second he did, eyes widening.

“Yup,” Eugene said lightly, turning Jesse’s head this way and that like he was examining it. “You’ve got such a pretty face, it’s hard not to notice it. It’s no mystery why Luna keeps sneaking you in, really.”

Especially if they weren’t really dating. It would have been more of an enigma then. Pretty faces only counted for so much. Why anyone would want to date Jesse would always be a mystery to Eugene.

“Don’t,” Jesse said with a renewed blush and a tug at Eugene’s hand. Eugene let go. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“Stop being so easy to make fun of.”

“I have _never_ been made fun of by anyone not named Labao. I don’t think I’m easy to make fun of at all, you guys are just ruffians. Except your mom. I like her.”

“You haven’t even met her!”

“She’s sweet, I can tell.”

“Ah, you just like her because she likes you.”

“Does she?”

“I don’t know, doesn’t she? You heard her. You’re a sweet young man who’s very fond of me.”

“Well, she’s mostly right.”

“She got the young man part right, at least.”

Eugene got elbowed but Jesse let it go, turning back to the game instead of throwing a fit or stomping off.


	6. Chapter 6

“I’ve been thinking,” Eugene said, grinning into his pillow when he heard a yelp in direct response to his words.

“I thought you were asleep!” Jesse accused in a whisper that wanted to be a shout.

“And,” Eugene went on, “I’ve got some questions about this whole thing.”

“Like what?” Jesse sounded defensive and Eugene finally turned over and propped up an elbow to look at him. He looked guilty.

“Like how do you manage to sneak out of your house so often?”

“My dad doesn’t notice. Or if he does, he doesn’t care because it doesn’t interfere with anything.”

“Right, that’s another question. Do you get enough sleep?”

“Enough sleep? Careful, you almost sound like you care.”

“I can’t help it, big brother instincts kick in hard when I’m at home.”

“I don’t need you to brother me.” Jesse crossed his arms. “And I sleep fine. It’s the summer so I’m not trying to juggle school and fencing at once, which leaves me with plenty of free time and energy.”

“Gross.”

“I didn’t mean—! You know I wasn’t talking about _that_ kind of energy.”

“Sure you weren’t. Hey, how far away do you live?”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want you falling asleep at the wheel.”

“It’s only half an hour since there’s no traffic this late.” Jesse’s voice softened as he said it, his arms uncrossing to sit by his sides.

“That’s not too bad.”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, be free. Interrogation’s over.”

“Short interrogation.”

“I’m feeling generous.”

“Aren’t you going to drop me off?” Jesse asked when Eugene didn’t get up.

“I guess I can,” Eugene decided, rolling out of bed.

“What happened to your shirt?” Jesse’s alarm was over the top. Most things about Jesse were.

“Nothing happened to my shirt. It’s fine, see?” Eugene pointed to the shirt that had been discarded earlier in the night. “Off we go now, I want to go back to sleep.”

“You shouldn’t bother. I’ll only wake you up again in an hour or so.”

“You realize how self-absorbed you sound, right? Or do you genuinely think that’s a perfectly normal, non-demanding thing to say to someone?”

“I’m only trying to help. You’ll be up again as soon as you fall asleep. Might as well just stay up and do something.”

“Or you could stop blowing through here two times every night.”

“Not every night.”

“Most nights.”

“I was thinking that little Sim Jesse could use a friend, I want to make one later.”

“That’s a bit of a topic hop.”

“The old topic wasn’t going anywhere. But I thought _we_ were. Off we go, right?”

Jesse led Eugene to Luna’s room and saw himself in with a wave to Eugene. Cheeky bastard. But it was worse because Eugene knew he was right. There wasn’t much point to laying in bed for an hour waiting to be disturbed again. Especially because he knew by now that Jesse never just left. There was always something he wanted to talk about, something he wanted to do. Like Sims. Or showing Eugene a funny video.

When Jesse came back to Eugene’s room, only half an hour after leaving it, he wasted no time in coming to the bed. He hadn’t bothered to put his shoes back on and he dropped them by the side of Eugene’s bed before climbing onto it and over Eugene. Jesse preferred the wall spot. There was a moment during Jesse’s transition from floor to wall in which he was straddling Eugene, leaned in close and low as he rolled the rest of the way. The movement sent Jesse’s hair fluttering and a wave of his scent into Eugene’s face.

“You smell…clean,” Eugene thought aloud.

“Thank you, hygiene is important to me,” Jesse said, sounding very much like he thought Eugene was being silly for pointing it out. But if Eugene had thought about it—and he tried not to for the most part—he would have expected Jesse to smell of sweat. Or his hair to be a little messier. He didn’t tell Jesse so.

“Here,” he said instead, handing Jesse his computer. “Your sim is waiting for a friend. I’ve already got you in Create-a-Sim, do you want me to show you how to do it?”

“No, I want to.” Jesse swatted Eugene’s hand away. “Is Sim Jesse a teen?”

“Young adult. Teens can’t live alone.”

Jesse nodded and made his new sim one too. Eugene watched lazily as Jesse clicked around the customization options. But as he watched, the laziness was replaced with amusement. As Jesse selected the eyebrows, it was becoming clear to Eugene who, exactly, Jesse intended Sim Jesse to have as a friend.

“Is that me?” Eugene asked. But he knew it was. Knew it couldn’t possibly be anyone else because Jesse’s ears glowed pink in the light from the computer screen.

“It only seems fair. You made one of me. Now I’m making one of you.”

“Sound logic,” Eugene agreed, unable to help the smirk on his face as he looked back at the little Sim Eugene on screen. Jesse had a pretty flattering idea of his physique, he couldn’t help but notice.

“Why do buff sims only look good in the slutty clothes?” Jesse asked. If the question was meant to divert Eugene’s attention and save Jesse some embarrassment, it backfired. Eugene bust out laughing. Jesse went even pinker.

“Are you trying to hint that I should dress sluttier?” Eugene teased.

“I don’t know how you got _that_ idea at all. And anyway, you’re not even wearing a shirt right now. That already counts as slutty.”

“Does it?”

“In my book, it does. Shut up. Seriously, if someone comes to check on us—on you—it’s your fault this time.”

Eugene stopped his guffaws with some effort.

“I’m sorry. Let’s get back to that slutty, slutty sim.”

And he started cackling again. Jesse tried to shush him but he ended up laughing too. That only made it worse and they were both caught in the hilarity only very late nights could lend shitty jokes for so long, Eugene’s face hurt when the stifled laughing fit had toned down to occasional giggles. He noticed that he and Jesse had fallen into each other at some point.

Clearing his throat, Eugene sat back up.

“But let’s be honest,” he said, reaching to straighten the computer on Jesse’s lap. “There’s nothing sluttier than your hotdog costume.”

“Oh, I hate you. I’m putting you in a clown suit.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man we're posting on even days this month. watch me fucking forget that and miss an update day on accident because I'm a moron.

Jesse had never played _The Sims_ before and it quickly became their go-to activity on his way out. Tonight as they played, Jesse yawned. Again. Eugene checked the time. Nearly 2 AM.

“You should probably get back home before you’re too sleepy to drive,” Eugene said, trying to take over control of the game from Jesse so he could save and exit it. Jesse refused to let Eugene have it.

“I’m not done playing.”

“You can play next time you’re over. Come on, you’ve been yawning constantly for the last hour. If you don’t leave now, I don’t think I can, in good conscience, let you leave at all.”

“Not ever?” Jesse asked liltingly.

“Not tonight.”

“How would that work? Would I stay here? Or would you make me go back to Luna?”

 _“Make_ you?” Eugene said with a judgmental eyebrow.

“I’d rather stay here. Luna wouldn’t be happy if I woke her up, she already thinks I’m out of her hair for the night.”

“Well, you are, aren’t you? You’re in my hair instead.” And, Eugene suddenly realized, for far longer than he’d ever stayed in Luna’s.

“So I’d be staying here,” Jesse deciphered. “Good.”

Eugene glanced sidelong at Jesse. At the little smirk showing in one quirked-up side of his mouth. He looked like he’d just won an argument and was pleased with himself. He shouldn’t have looked like that from getting out of sleeping with his not-girlfriend. Eugene would just have to make him leave. He opened his mouth to tell Jesse as much when a tiny voice at the door called for him.

“Gene?”

_Shit._

“Get under the covers,” Eugene whispered, throwing them over Jesse. The crown of Jesse’s yellow head had just barely disappeared when Fritz opened the door. He’d be nine soon but he always seemed so small to Eugene. Probably because he was the baby of the family.

“Hey,” Eugene said softly. “What’s up?”

“I had a bad dream. Can I sleep in here tonight?” That was why Fritz had come to him instead of their parents. Usually, Eugene was a sucker and let Fritz stay. But tonight, Eugene already had someone in his bed so he slipped out of it.

“How about you tell me about your dream and we go make sure there’s no monsters in your room? I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”

Fritz shook his head. “I don’t want to. Why can’t I stay here?”

“You know Mom and Dad want you in your own bed. Come here,” Eugene opened his arms and knelt down so Fritz could wrap his arms around his neck and his gangly legs around his middle. Eugene stood, holding his little brother like a koala, and climbed them back up the stairs and through the open door to Fritz’s room. He tucked Fritz back into his bed. “Do you want me to get you some water?” he offered.

“With ice,” Fritz nodded.

Eugene got Fritz water with ice and sat with him while he drank it and told Eugene about his dream. Fire this time. When Fritz handed his cup to Eugene, he put it on the floor and swung his legs up onto Fritz’s bed, rubbing his back until he finally fell asleep again.

Eugene carefully rolled from the bed, picking up the half-emptied water cup and sneaking from the room with a quiet shutting of the door. Fritz was a light sleeper. But when Eugene made it all the way back to his room without Fritz coming after him, he knew he was safe.

Jesse was still under the blanket, only a couple strands of hair giving him away. And the gentle rise and fall of his breathing. Eugene had a feeling he knew what he’d find even before he pulled the covers down. Jesse’s lips were parted softly and his eyelashes danced in shadows across his cheeks.

“Of course you’ve fallen asleep, you pain in the ass,” Eugene said to the sleeping boy. Jesse didn’t even stir.

He could wake Jesse up and send him on his way. But he was his mother’s son. Eugene would worry too much making Jesse drive when he was obviously tuckered out. So he set his alarm for early and climbed into bed. This time, Jesse did stir. He rolled over, head lolling against Eugene’s shoulder. His hair was soft and his skin was warm from being trapped under the blanket for so long. With a little sigh, Jesse stilled again.

As he drifted off to sleep, Eugene wondered how he was meant to explain this to Luna.

* * *

Eugene’s alarm blared and he groaned, reaching to turn it off. Why in the ever-loving fuck had he set an alarm? A heavy weight on his chest followed him as he shifted to reach his phone, burrowing against him.

Jesse.

That’s why he’d set an alarm. Eugene didn’t waste a single second in extracting himself from the boy and the blankets he’d gotten tangled up in last night. His sudden movement prompted Jesse to sit up huffily, blinking into wakefulness.

“It’s seven,” Eugene said. “You should probably hurry and get out of here.”

“I fell asleep,” Jesse realized, looking around Eugene’s room like he’d never seen it before. And at Eugene. And at himself, all knotted up in Eugene’s comforter.

“Yeah, sorry I didn’t wake you. I wasn’t sure you were safe to drive.”

“Do you have any gum?” Jesse stretched and slowly untangled himself to stand. “I’d rather not have morning breath the entire drive home.”

“Uh. Yeah. One sec, let me…” Eugene pulled open a drawer at his desk and tossed a pack of gum to Jesse. Jesse frowned at the packaging proclaiming it mint-flavored, but he did open it to select and unwrap a piece to put in his mouth. He took another to slip in his pocket before handing the pack back to Eugene.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Jesse glanced out the window at the sunny morning.

“I should…”

“Yeah. See you next time Luna summons you.”

Jesse shifted his weight and glanced back at Eugene. He looked on the verge of saying something but all he said when he opened his mouth was, “Yeah.”

Eugene watched Jesse climb out the window without taking the time to close it as he darted along the house to the sidewalk. Eugene should have made sure they were clear before letting Jesse leave but it was unlikely anyone with a side-facing window was awake at seven. He left his room feeling like he’d just gotten away with something. Probably because he _had_ just gotten away with something.

“Luna,” Eugene said, surprised to find her in the kitchen. “Why’re you up?”

“Dad says he hasn’t seen me in years and forced me out of my bed for family breakfast. He’s getting up the boys now, he was coming for you next.”

“Thank god for that,” Eugene breathed, imagining the disaster if Dad had come to wake him first and found an extra body in his bed. “Hey, listen, I should tell you something about—,”

“Jesse?” Mom asked from the living room with such perfect timing that Eugene was suddenly sure she’d caught on to the fact that Jesse had slept over last night. Luna looked at him, mouthing _what the fuck._ “Gene, love, go get him,” Mom said, sweeping into the kitchen to put a guiding hand on his arm, prompting him to the door. “It’s only a family breakfast, you didn’t have to send him away after he already came out.”

“Oh, sure,” Eugene said awkwardly, shrugging at Luna’s stare. He’d explain later. “Sorry, I should have warned you I invited him over today.”

“Next time,” she told him breezily. That was always her answer for mess-ups and failures. She almost said something more and Eugene could guess what it was. A comment about how weird he was being about Jesse. But she either decided it was a queer thing or an Elaine thing and decided not to get into it.

Eugene jogged after Jesse, calling for him to wait up. Jesse spun around, expression lifting as he saw Eugene coming toward him. It was probably pretty funny from his perspective.

“Mom saw you leaving—not,” he said quickly, “from my room. Just. Leaving. She thought I invited you and then called it off because Dad wants a family breakfast. So. Come back and have breakfast with us.”

“Oh,” Jesse said, face falling.

“I know, it’s not ideal. But just act like normal and we’ll avoid relationship talk as much as possible. Elaine came over all the time and the fact that we were dating was practically never a topic of conversation. And my dad’s nice, I promise.”

“No axes this morning?” Jesse asked.

“No axes.”

“I’ve got fencing with Dad at noon. But alright. I can do breakfast.”

“Thanks.” Eugene almost offered out his hand. But he thought of Luna and shoved his hands in the pockets of his sweats instead.

Jesse was greeted with enthusiasm. Mom said she was delighted to meet him and Dad asked if he liked bacon, saying _good man_ and nodding approvingly when Jesse said that he did. The little brothers all watched him curiously but they all shook his hand, even Fritz, who usually didn’t believe in such formalities. Luna kept a perfectly straight face when she introduced herself.

“I think it’s great that Eugene’s found love again,” she told him sincerely, which turned Jesse pink. Eugene would have shoved her for that but he figured they both deserved her teasing revenge this morning.

“So, Jesse,” Dad said over a shoulder from his station at the stove, causing Jesse to shuffle into Eugene, even though the call was jovial. “How’d you meet Gene?”

“Through fencing,” Jesse said, shooting a nervous glance at Eugene.

“Jesse’s captain of Exton’s team,” Eugene supplied instead of coming up with some bigger lie about their romance. He hadn’t talked about that sort of stuff with his exes so he didn’t think it was strange to steer away from it now.

“How lovely,” Mom smiled warmly. “Did Eugene tell you that his coach talked to him about the captaincy at Kings Row next year?”

“He did, I think it’s wonderful.”

If Mom had had any reserves about Jesse at all, they were put to rest by Jesse’s brilliant smile just then.

Jesse stuck close to Eugene’s side as they talked, and when they sat down to eat, his chair seemed to inch closer to Eugene’s by the second. It amused Eugene that he was so wary of Dad. Eugene wasn’t worried. Jesse would forget about the ax thing soon enough and then they could all laugh about it. Jesse was already easily laughing with Eugene’s brothers.

“Were you guys gonna kiss?” Fritz asked Jesse after breakfast, sending Jesse spluttering. “That’s why you snuck in, right? Marcus said it was to have—,”

“Marcus didn’t say anything,” Marcus said, kicking Fritz in the leg from his spot on the couch.

“You don’t sneak into someone’s room to _not_ do anything,” Junior pointed out bluntly. “We’re all thinking it. But, Fritz, you’re not supposed to say that sort of thing. You’ll scare him off.”

“I won’t scare him off. I was just asking.” Fritz blinked expectantly at Jesse.

“Fritz, buzz off,” Eugene said, rubbing a noogie into his hair. “Jess, just ignore them. You don’t have to answer.”

“But I want to know!” Fritz protested.

Jesse glanced at the kitchen, but Mom and Dad were safely out of earshot.

“Fine, alright,” Jesse said, leveling his eyes at Fritz. “I did sneak into Eugene’s room to kiss him.”

Fritz cackled delightedly at the answer and the older boys chorused out _ooooohhh_ s like they hadn’t all known that, of course, Eugene would have snuck in his boyfriend for nefarious purposes. They’d have been way more surprised to know the truth.

Eventually, Jesse asked in Eugene’s ear if they could go to his room.

“You’re going to give them ideas, you know,” Eugene said once he’d complied and ferreted Jesse away to his bedroom.

“I’ve already given them ideas. And I can’t take any more of Luna laughing at me for getting into this whole mess. I’ll never hear the end of her teasing, so humor me and let me finish getting Sim Jesse a promotion.”

Eugene booted up his computer and left Jesse on his bed with it to grab snacks and water from the kitchen.

“He’s good for you,” Mom said, catching his arm as he rifled through cabinets. She was smiling. Happy to see him happy. He kind of regretted that he’d have to relay a break up with Jesse to her sooner or later if only because he knew she was excited to see him really _with_ someone after Elaine. Especially when she added, “I’m really glad you decided to work it out with him. He’s a keeper, I can tell.”

“Thanks, Ma,” Eugene said. “I guess I don’t hate him either.”

She tutted at him but let him go.

Jesse was peering at his phone intently and when Eugene slid onto the bed, swapping the snack pile for the laptop, he laughed.

“What the hell have you been up to while I was gone?” he asked. Jesse looked up from his phone, nonplussed. Then he saw the screen too and his mouth fell open in protest.

“I didn’t tell them to do that!”

Eugene couldn’t stop laughing as Jesse explained that he’d been looking up cheat codes and let the game keep playing on its own. All the while, Sim Jesse and Sim Eugene continued to enthusiastically make out on the computer screen.


	8. Chapter 8

“Hey,” Luna said, knocking once at Eugene’s door before opening it. After Jesse had left this morning, Luna had managed to sneak off to take a nap. A nap that had lasted until dinner. They hadn’t had a chance to talk yet so he was pleased when she appeared here without needing to be tracked down.

“Come on in,” he said pointlessly. She was already in, door closed behind her. “I should explain about Jesse turning up here this morning.”

“He already said.” Luna held up her phone before sitting next to Eugene on his bed, phone falling on her lap with her hands. “I actually wanted to say thank you for looking after him.”

“What?” Eugene hadn’t expected Luna to be upset about Jesse staying over—she’d made it clear they weren’t a couple, and she wasn’t the possessive type in the first place. He knew she wouldn't really mind that her fling had befriended Eugene and slept over in his room instead of hers. But he had not in a million years expected to be thanked.

“Yeah. He’s—I know he’s kind of a lot. And he’s not your responsibility at all but it’s nice of you to look out for him anyway. And me, too, I guess.”

“That’s my job.”

“Is not. Not for him. I just wanted to say that I know—I know you hate talking about this but what Elaine did to you was shitty and I know you can’t help taking care of people and it got you hurt with her. And Jesse’s a little needy, don’t you think?”

“This isn’t at all like Elaine, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“I know. Of course he isn’t Elaine and this isn’t that… But if he ever gets to be too much, I can make him back off.”

“I wouldn’t spoil your fun,” Eugene said. As Luna took in a breath to say something more, Eugene thought he caught movement in the corner of his eye. Over by the open window. “Anyway,” he continued before Luna could speak. “I don’t mind him. I _am_ capable of deciding who I bother with. He’s important to you and I like him plenty. I’d send him back over to you if I minded.”

“You’re so soft on everyone, Gene,” Luna huffed, standing up. “You’re way more patient with him than I am.”

“Lunes, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not very patient with anyone.”

“I know! You took all the nurturing for yourself and there wasn’t enough time for that pool to recharge before I came along.”

“That’s assuming you’re not a changeling.”

“Whatever,” Luna stuck out her tongue at him and then she was gone.

Eugene sauntered over to the window and stuck his head out of it. Jesse was crouched beneath it and he looked up at Eugene. Blushing. Why was he always fucking blushing?

“Come in before someone sees you,” Eugene instructed, backing away to allow room for Jesse to do as told. In another moment, Jesse stood tall inside his room.

“I wasn’t eavesdropping.”

“Not on purpose,” Eugene corrected. “I didn’t expect you back so soon. Aren’t you sick of this place yet?”

“No. But—would you like me to leave? I can, I should have realized it was a lot to come again so soon…”

“Nah, don’t sweat it. Luna could have mentioned you were coming over, though.”

“Right.” Jesse cleared his throat a little. “She probably wasn’t expecting me yet.”

“No wonder. It’s early as fuck, you’ll have to kill time here for hours before you can sneak off to her.”

“I didn’t think of that,” Jesse said carefully. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. And don’t worry about what Luna said, either, okay?”

“But—!”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good.” Eugene returned to his bed, sitting with his back to the wall and waiting for Jesse to join him. Jesse did.

“What did she do?” Jesse asked quietly.

“Who?” Eugene knew who.

“Elaine. Why does everyone talk about her like…”

“Like she broke my heart?”

“Yeah.”

Eugene sighed. “Because she did.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Another sigh. A hand scrubbing through hair. A heavy thud as he sat back. “She was my girlfriend last year. I can’t tell sometimes if I loved her or if I only thought I did because she wanted me to. She was…Elaine was beautiful. And charismatic. And dynamic. And her sense of humor was cuttingly hilarious. But it inched a little more toward nasty every day I was with her. I didn’t notice. Anyone she didn’t like, she’d pass comments on. Innocuous, little things. Tiny jabs. Almost funny. I got so used to laughing at her jokes that I didn’t realize when they stopped being funny. Being with her, god, how do I explain it? It was like I was more _hers_ than I was me. I don’t like who I was with her, who I let myself become. But she needed me. She was beautiful and hilarious and tragically broken.”

“And you wanted to put her back together.”

“Yeah. I did. But I took out little pieces of me cut to size to manage it. She always needed more. Until I wasn’t enough to satisfy her anymore. I caught her cheating on me with someone from her school. She wanted me to find them like that, I know she did. Wanted to prove that I’d still come back.”

“But you didn’t!” Jesse said, a hand grabbing Eugene’s wrist and holding it hard, his eyes determined and intense like he could will it into truth if he just held tight enough and stared hard enough. Maybe he could. Because when Eugene spoke, it was to say exactly what Jesse wanted to hear.

“I didn’t. She wasn’t easy to shake. All the phone calls and showing up to my school sobbing and the begging to take her back, promises she’d be better. Threats that she’d get worse,” Eugene added quietly. “That she wouldn’t be okay and it would be my fault.”

“That’s awful,” Jesse said fiercely. His hand had somehow made its way down Eugene’s wrist to lock their fingers into place, intertwined. Eugene knew he should have pulled away but he didn’t. It was the same, he reasoned, as when Nick had hugged him after one of Elaine’s fits followed him to school. Or how Aiden had kissed his forehead the way Ma always did, even though Aiden had never had a mom to teach him that. Accepting this comfort was no different from accepting that comfort.

He wouldn’t do that to Luna. Wouldn’t let it be anything more.


	9. Chapter 9

Jesse continued to come over frequently and spend as much time in Eugene’s room as he did in Luna’s room. _More_ time than he spent in Luna’s. Eugene’s summer was nearing its end and it felt like so much of it had gone to Jesse. To late nights and fucked sleep schedules and unlocked windows.

How would they be after this, Eugene wondered. When they both moved into different dorms on different campuses and captained different teams?

Jesse Coste was a fierce competitor. It was easy to forget that all when the Jesse he’d gotten to know this summer was just a boy, not a national champion. Just a boy who blushed constantly and laughed like he was giving you a gift and insisted on cramming himself into the corner spot on the bed. A boy who wasn’t as annoying or shallow or insufferable as Eugene had always assumed. A boy who was with Eugene’s little sister.

“Eugene? Are you listening to me?” Jesse asked impatiently.

“Absolutely.”

Jesse pulled on a skeptical expression and crossed his arms. Next, he’d start tapping his foot as he waited for Eugene to prove he hadn’t just tuned him out for two minutes. So maybe Jesse was a little insufferable. Eugene just didn’t mind it as much as he’d always thought he would.

“I’m hungry,” Jesse prompted when Eugene was unable to repeat back what Jesse had said upon reentering his room tonight from Luna’s.

“I should have a talk with Luna. If she’s not going to feed you, she’s obviously not responsible enough to have a pet. It’s like her hamster all over again.”

“Remington? I saw the picture of him in Luna’s room. She says he was yours within the first month she got him and everyone knew it.”

“That’s because she didn’t want to take care of the little bugger.”

“You’re smiling.”

“What do you want? Something sweet or salty?” Eugene asked, finally standing up.

“Sweet,” Jesse said. “And I know you loved that hamster, don’t deny it.”

“Little dude was always ready to throw down,” Eugene remembered fondly. It was true that he’d loved Remington, no matter that it had been little Luna who’d begged to get a dwarf hamster after her first-grade teacher brought his to class.

Eugene paused momentarily in front of Jesse to tug on the collar of his shirt.

“And, by the way, I think you got dressed a little fast tonight.”

“What—?” Jesse asked but Eugene was already out the door, off to the kitchen so that Jesse had time to shed his shirt and try again.

When Eugene returned with a bowl of fruit, Jesse’s shirt was on right-side-out and his ears were pink.

“It’s not—,” Jesse said, tugging at the hem of his shirt. Eugene wished he wouldn’t. The v-neck was already showing off plenty of collarbone and pale chest without the extra pull. And Eugene really didn’t want to be looking at any of it. It had caught him off guard once tonight already.

“Don’t bother. I know what you get up to already, I don’t need details or denials.” Eugene offered Jesse the bowl of fruit and hopped onto his bed. “Sims or a movie?”

“Movie. I want to eat.”

Eugene queued up something on Netflix and tried not to think too hard about any of this. It felt wrong to him. It kept feeling more and more wrong to him. Every time Jesse came over, every time Eugene made room for him on his bed and asked him what he wanted to do and always knew Jesse would stay long enough to do it, whatever it was, he felt worse about the entire situation.

It was inherently weird to have your little sister’s hookup befriend you by way of using your window to sneak into her room, but it had felt normal enough. Sitting on the same bed and talking about nothing for hours and knowing someone well enough to pick out a movie you knew they’d like wasn’t anything new or unique to Jesse. Eugene had tons of friends. Tons of friendships that were all a little different. His favorites were the ones like this, the close and seemingly easy ones. But this wasn’t easy.

Eugene noticed how Jesse picked out all the strawberries first and ate them with a simple pleasure that was hard to look at. Jesse wasn’t any of Eugene’s other friends. But he wasn’t the problem. This friendship wasn’t the problem.

Eugene was the problem.

* * *

“Luna, you awake?” Eugene asked the next afternoon, pounding on her door. If she was asleep, gentle knocking would never wake her. With a grumble Eugene took to mean he could come in, he opened the door.

“Whaddya want, Gene?” Luna slurred into her pillow.

“I’m going to fix your window.”

“What?” Luna turned over to squint at him. “I thought the replacement part didn’t ever come.”

“It didn’t. But your older brother knows his way around Home Depot.”

“So are you a lesbian or a dad?”

“I’m turning on the light, brace yourself. And now I’m opening the curtain, hide under your covers so you don’t combust.”

Luna did. She went full nocturnal whenever she could manage it. Little vampire.

“Why the hurry now?” she asked as Eugene got to work. “There’s only, like, a couple weeks before school.”

“I heard someone moving around upstairs last night after you sent Jesse back to my room to make his exit. If they’d come downstairs, they’d have run into him.”

A total fucking lie. But Eugene didn’t feel like asking Luna to make Jesse back off on the visits. Didn’t want it to seem like he didn’t like Jesse, even though he should have been more worried about the opposite. He _was_ worried about that. He was fixing Luna’s window, wasn’t he?

“I don’t think they’d even mind that much. Fritz is basically in love with Jesse and Mom and Dad aren’t far behind. They’d probably all offer him some ice water and send him back to you.”

“I told Mom and Dad I wouldn’t sneak him in again. I don’t like breaking my promises.”

“You don’t like getting caught, you mean. You’ve snuck him in plenty.”

“No, _you’ve_ snuck him in plenty. Using _my_ window.”

“Ugh, whatever.”

* * *

Eugene woke up to the sound of his door opening and feet shuffling across his floor. For a strange and confused moment, he thought it was Jesse. It had been several days since he’d fixed Luna’s window and he hadn’t seen Jesse once since—which was the point. But if Jesse was here tonight, he wouldn’t have come _here,_ into Eugene’s room. He’d have just used Luna’s window to leave, same as he’d have used it to come in.

When a small body climbed under his blankets, Eugene recognized Fritz. He’d apparently learned his lesson about asking if he could stay last time, when Eugene had turned him away. So he hadn’t asked. Eugene wouldn’t have turned him away tonight anyway.

“Bad dream?” he asked through a yawn.

“I was eating a roll,” Fritz explained, “the kind you get at school lunch.”

“That _is_ a bad dream.”

“And then it was full of those spiderwebs that are like cotton candy but from hell.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But I didn’t know and when I bit into it, all these spiders started coming out and crawling all over me!”

“Wait, you’re telling me that school lunch rolls aren’t _supposed_ to be like that? Somebody should tell Kings Row.”

Fritz laughed, then yawned, which made Eugene yawn again too. They both fell asleep quickly. But Eugene was startled awake again before long.

“Gene!” Fritz said into Eugene’s ear, an urgent and scared little whisper.

“Hm?” Eugene grunted, expecting more nightmares.

“There’s a monster outside your window!”

“Wha—? Oh, shiii—,” Eugene said in realization. A monster at his window. “It’s okay, Fritz. There’s no monster.”

“But it’s trying to get in,” Fritz insisted, huddling against Eugene with eyes squeezed shut as the window rattled again, trying to open. Then a series of taps when it wouldn’t budge.

_Fuuuuuck._

“It’s not a monster, Fritz,” Eugene assured his little brother. “It’s Jesse.”

“Jesse?” Fritz asked, confused. He should be. Eugene was confused too. Why the hell was Jesse back at _his_ window? “Your Jesse?”

“Yeah,” Eugene sighed. “That’s the one.”

“You’re sure?” Fritz asked.

“Completely.”

At Eugene’s confirmation, Fritz bolted from the bed and unlocked Eugene’s window, sliding it open and sticking his head out without any lingering caution.

“Are you here to kiss Eugene again?” he asked.

Eugene was almost relieved to hear Jesse’s startled _oh!_ At least it wasn’t actually a serial killer or a monster out there that Fritz was begging to murder him. No, he was just begging _Eugene_ to murder him. But not nearly as much as Jesse was.

“I’m sorry,” Jesse said, “I didn’t realize…”

“You might as well come in.” Eugene grabbed Fritz by the middle and hauled him back and out of the way so Jesse could climb in.

“I’m not afraid anymore,” Fritz declared. “I’ll go back to bed.”

“No, I should leave,” Jesse said, hand braced on the windowsill, but he was undecided on if he was coming in or not.

“I’ll take Fritz up to bed,” Eugene said, readjusting Fritz to sit on a hip. He was getting too damn long to maneuver around easily like this. “Get in here and stay quiet,” he told Jesse.

“Bye, Jesse,” Fritz offered Jesse a cheery wave over Eugene’s shoulder as they left.

Upstairs, Fritz bound into bed excitedly. Eugene could tell it was gonna take ages to get him to sleep again.

“Fritz,” Eugene started, sitting down next to him.

“I won’t tell on you,” Fritz said earnestly, patting Eugene’s shoulder. Eugene laughed.

“You’re a champ.”

“Snitches get stitches.”

“No,” Eugene said firmly, wondering what the others were teaching Fritz. He hated having to be the responsible one. He sighed. “You don’t keep secrets from Mom and Dad, remember? That can be dangerous.”

“But Jesse’s not dangerous.”

“No, Jesse’s not dangerous. Still, though. I’ll tell them later about this, okay? So don’t worry about it.”

“Does he come over a lot?” Fritz asked, wiggling under his blankets.

“I told you not to worry about it.”

“So he does.”

“Not really. Now get to sleep.”

“So you can go kiss Jesse?” Fritz snickered. Eugene cuffed him on the head.

“So I can go deal with Jesse,” he corrected.

It took forty minutes of shushing and back rubs to get Fritz down.

Jesse was sitting on his bed when Eugene returned to his own room. Jesse knew he wasn’t allowed to leave here without an escort.

“I’m sorry,” Jesse said, standing up. “Did you get Fritz to sleep? Is he going to tell?”

“He’s not going to tell but I’m going to have to. I can’t have him thinking strange men climbing through windows in the middle of the night is something he should be keeping from our parents.”

Jesse winced.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, meekly. “I should have realized you locked your window for a reason.”

Eugene shook his head. “I didn’t lock the window because Fritz was here.”

“Then why?”

“Because you can’t use it anymore.”

“But—but you can’t just lock me out!”

“Watch me.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Right now? A little bit, yeah.”

“What do you want?” Jesse asked, edging close to desperate. “What do you want to keep letting me use your window?”

Jesse stood in front of Eugene’s bed in light jeans that were practically tailored to his body and a sweater that looked soft to the touch. His eyes were pools of worry and his cheeks pooled with color when he noticed Eugene looking.

“What can you do to keep trampling through my room at your convenience?” Eugene mused, taking a step forward. “What about a finder’s fee?”

“A…finder’s fee?” Jesse repeated. His eyes looked more black than blue as Eugene took another step. And another. But Jesse stood his ground. Then again, it wasn’t so impressive. If he’d tried to take a step back for even one of Eugene’s steps forward, he would have toppled onto the bed.

“Sure,” Eugene said amiably, taking Jesse’s hip. His face. “A sample of what you get up to when you leave my room.”

Jesse gulped. Eugene tracked the motion down his throat and then tracked the deep red flush right back up it.

This wasn’t good.

He couldn’t be doing this.

Eugene let go of Jesse, pulling on a wide smile and summoning up a laugh.

“Man, I got you good!”

Jesse remained frozen for a second even as Eugene backed all the way off, removing himself from Jesse’s bubble of space to sit on the opposite end of his bed from the one Jesse was standing at. For that second, Jesse was stone. And then his face was crumpling and blushing even deeper. In another second, he’d ironed back out his expression. The color was another matter, not so easily covered up.

“I should probably go to Luna’s now,” he said in a whisper. Then he cleared his throat and spoke more surely. “I’ve been here way too long.”

“And leave through her window,” Eugene said gruffly.

“It’s fixed? Luna didn’t mention.”

“Of course she didn’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just…leave here and go have your fun with Luna.”

Jesse frowned but he did as told. It was the first time Eugene had let him leave alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	10. Chapter 10

“Gene,” Luna said, barging into Eugene’s room after breakfast, “what the hell did you do to Jesse last night?”

“What? Nothing.”

“He came into my room redder than a firetruck and more flustered than if he’d just seen a fireman stripper.”

“Aw, Lunes, it wasn’t anything, really,” Eugene dismissed. “You can’t send your booty call climbing through my window and expect me not to hassle him a little.”

“Gene,” Luna said incredulously, “his booty isn’t climbing through _your_ window every night to seduce _me.”_

“Okay, I know that sentence was made up of real-life words, but you should try substituting in some new words or something because those words in that order make zero sense.”

“You know, I used to look up to you.”

“Hey, what do you mean _used to?”_

“I mean back when I thought my big brother was cool and smart but now I see that you’re just a moron with a bunch of stuffing for brains. Jesse’s gay, Eugene. Actually gay. No interest in girls. And I’ve never had any interest in him.”

“Woah, hang on a minute,” Eugene said, holding up his hands like she physically needed to be barred from barreling on in this nonsense conversation. “What do you mean he’s gay and you don’t like him? Then why the hell have I been putting up with him using my room like a bus station?”

“The answer to that is pretty obvious.”

“Why sneak a gay boy into the house? Mom and Dad probably would have let him sleep over.”

“Not if I asked them at midnight,” Luna rolled her eyes, arms crossed and looking like she was bored with this line of questioning and it was Eugene’s fault for not knowing already. “Look, the first time I invited him over, it was to kiss him. But not because I like him. He texted me from Germany in the middle of a sexual crisis over some hot German fencer or something. He said he’d never had time to figure any of that stuff out, so when he got back to Connecticut still unsure about it, I just offered to take one for the team. I told him to come over and figured sneaking him in my window would be easier than the front door.”

“Do you often sneak your friends in your window to kiss them through sexual identity crises?”

“No, don’t be stupid, Gene. Jesse’s the only person I’ve ever snuck in and you saw how well that went. He climbed in the wrong window.”

“Yeah, and then he climbed back through it a week later. And more nights than not since.”

“That’s not my fault,” Luna shrugged, but then a wicked grin poked through her defenses. “Well, maybe the first time was. The second time? We hung out after the real first time and I told him he could still kiss me if he wanted to. But he didn’t. He called later to apologize—like I even cared.”

“Rookie mistake,” Eugene muttered. “Thinking you care.”

“Exactly. I told him not to worry about it because I’d only offered to help him figure it out but it looked like he had his answer already. He got all up in arms about that and asked if he could come over because he’d changed his mind. I told him sure.” And there was that grin. “But I sent him through your window because I knew he hadn’t really changed his mind. And I was right.”

“Hold up,” Eugene held up a hand again. “I know he’s been undressing over there, he came back with his shirt inside-out.”

“Of course you’d notice something like that. Was it a pretty blue v-neck that matches his eyes?”

“Sounds like I’m not the only one that noticed it.”

“I only noticed it because I dumped fruit punch on it at the movies when he wouldn’t put away his damn phone. He had a screaming fit, you should have seen it. That’s how we met. He dragged me out of the theatre to lecture me about how that shirt makes his eyes pop and how I ruined it. I told him he was lucky I didn’t dump the punch on his phone instead.”

“And you guys became friends after that?”

“It was fate. He still likes to bring that up to gripe about it, says it’s still stained. I think he’s full of shit so he took it off the time he wore it over so I could ‘see it in the proper light.’ I looked at that thing every which way and I still say it’s fine. I didn’t even notice he put it on wrong after.”

“I can’t believe he never told me you poured fruit punch on him, he loves complaining.” Eugene was temporarily distracted thinking about a soggy, angry Jesse trying to lecture a stubborn, unconcerned Luna about the exact color of his eyes.

“I can. He wouldn’t want to admit to you that he’s an absolute dick who picked up a call in the middle of a movie.”

“Luna—,”

“I’m serious, Jesse and I are just friends and that’s all we’ve ever been. We just hang out and watch awful reality TV when he sneaks in. And he only ever stays for an episode because he’s usually got early mornings and all that.”

“I did wonder about his sleep schedule with these late-night visits. I can’t believe he kept at it for _TV.”_

“Not for TV,” Luna said meaningfully.

“Stop saying that. Stop making it sound like he was here for me this whole time.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t notice. You’re usually so good at seeing everything, how’d you miss Jesse’s raging and _very_ obvious crush on you?”

“I wasn’t expecting it!”

“You knight in shining armored him on day one, he was a goner from the start.”

“Technically, that wasn’t our day one.”

“It was for him,” she shrugged. “And whatever you pulled last night had him blushing for an hour. You like him, admit it.”

“I do not! I thought he was your little boyfriend, that’s all. I liked giving him a hard time.”

“Well, now he can be _your_ little boyfriend and you can still like giving him a hard time.”

Eugene was very rarely lost for words. When he was, it was usually Luna’s fault. He couldn’t think of a single way to respond to her right now. He still wasn’t sure he’d absorbed any of this conversation. Luna chortled, delighted to have surprised him with all of this.

“You’re so lame for thinking Jesse ever came here for the forty minutes he spent with me. But I’m pretty awesome, I think I deserve an award for being the world’s best wingman. I sacrificed my window _and_ my time for you two losers. But he’s all yours, Gene. You take care of him and I’ll come say hi, just like with Remington. Everyone’s happy.”

“Luna, holy shit, I can’t,” Eugene said. “I thought…”

“That he was off-limits?” Luna smirked, then shook her head and made ready to leave. “He’s not and never was, stop beating yourself up for falling for him. I can’t say I understand why you did, but I guess there’s no accounting for taste.”

* * *

Eugene slept with his window open for three nights before he heard the shuffling of feet in the grass outside the house. He closed up his computer and got to the window just in time to stick his head out and call after Jesse’s back, clearly on its way to Luna’s room.

“Yo! Jesse!” Eugene didn’t say it loudly. Only loudly enough that Jesse would be able to hear.

Jesse did and he jumped, spinning around with blown-wide eyes.

“Don’t do that,” Jesse hissed. “You scared me half to death. It’s creepy enough wandering around in the dark without people shouting at me.”

“I didn’t shout at you. You’re scared of the dark?”

“Not scared of it. Just…it’s a long walk from here to the park alone. Ax murderers _do_ exist, you know.”

“I’ll walk with you back to your car tonight.”

“Huh? Oh, that’s—you don’t have to.”

“Anyway, get in here.”

“But…” Jesse looked back down the side of the house.

“Luna went to bed.”

“Are you certain? She said she wanted me to come over. She made it sound important.”

“I’m sure she did. Come in, you’ve been standing around outside for way too long.”

“Okay…”

Eugene withdrew from the window and, cautiously, Jesse climbed through it. He already looked frazzled. Maybe Luna was right.

“I’m an idiot,” Eugene said, which seemed to spook Jesse as much as his greeting had. Closing the window, Jesse came farther into the room, eyes flitting between Eugene and the door. “About the joke I pulled last time, it was way out of line and I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Jesse’s eyes finally settled on Eugene. “I’m not upset about it.”

“I’m still sorry.”

Jesse shrugged, shifting uncomfortably under Eugene’s gaze.

“Your window was open,” Jesse said after a pause. “It’s never open.”

“I’m sure you can guess why.”

“Last time I was here, it was locked.”

“I’m an idiot,” Eugene repeated. “But why didn’t you ever tell me that you and Luna only watch shit TV shows when you come over?”

Jesse’s eyes were back to wandering around the room, darting now between the window and the door. Looking for a way out.

“I told her not to say anything,” Jesse’s peeved muttering was more to himself than to Eugene.

“Why? Why let me think all this time that you belonged to my sister?”

“I don’t belong to anyone.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Because!” Jesse spat, shrinking into himself. “Because I knew you wouldn’t let me come anymore unless you had a reason to—for Luna. And because you’re mean—!”

“Mean? How am I _mean?”_

“Eugene? Who are you talking to?”

Jesse’s eyes met Eugene’s in panic. Eugene pointed to the bed and Jesse darted to it.

“I’ll call you later, my mom’s here,” Eugene said as he scooped up his phone.

Checking quickly to make sure Jesse was under the bed and convincingly hidden, Eugene went to open his door for his mom. She looked down at his phone and then gave him _that_ look. The one she gave him before he could even report back to her that he hadn’t made the team.

“Jesse?” she guessed.

“Yeah. We were…having a fight, I guess.”

“I heard voices and wondered if everything was alright.”

“Everything’s good,” Eugene said but he must not have been convincing because Mom moved across his room and sat down. He had no choice but to follow.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“There’s really nothing much to talk about. Fights happen, it’s no big deal.”

“Is that so?”

“Isn’t that so? Relationships aren’t easy.”

“But your relationship with Jesse is worth it,” Mom said it in a matter-of-fact tone that still had a soft question to it. She wasn’t asking if Eugene thought so—she could already tell he did. Her question was to ask if he realized how different his stance was now compared to what it had been the last time they’d talked about Jesse like this.

“It is.”

“You’re happy with him?”

“You know I am.”

“I’d still hear you say it, if you don’t mind. Humor a worried mother.”

“Yeah, Ma, Jesse makes me happy.”

“Thank you.” Mom patted his knee, ready to leave. “Sleep on it and call him again in the morning when you’re both rested and ready to work things out.”

Sound advice, but not advice he could take. Not least because he didn’t have Jesse’s number and therefore was incapable of calling. But mostly it was because Jesse was under his bed and there was too much to talk about to risk sending him home for rest now.

“And when you’ve patched things up, bring him over again. You know we’re always happy to have him.”

Eugene was acutely aware that Jesse was in the room, that he was hiding, that he’d very much be wanting out from under the bed by now. But he felt like he couldn’t pass up this opening with his mom.

“Actually,” Eugene said, “there’s something I keep meaning to tell you. I don’t know if Fritz has mentioned…”

“Fritz?” Mom asked, thrown by Fritz’s sudden relevance in this conversation.

“I might have…snuck Jesse in a couple more times than I let you believe,” Eugene said, already wincing. Mom’s eyes went straight to the window.

“When he came over for breakfast?” Mom asked with the look of someone who’d just found a puzzle piece they hadn’t realized was missing.

“He fell asleep,” Eugene confirmed. He considered saying they hadn’t been up to anything but Mom wouldn’t believe that any more than Eugene had believed that Jesse and Luna weren’t up to no good all this time. “But that’s not important. Earlier this week, Jesse visited unexpectedly on a nightmare night. Fritz got a scare until I showed him it was just Jesse and not a monster.”

Mom shook her head slowly. “He didn’t say anything about that to me.”

“He said he wouldn’t. I said I would. I’m sorry I lied.”

“I appreciate you telling me, Eugene, but I thought we had an understanding. No boys—or girls—climbing through windows in the middle of the night.”

“I know. I know—I just—I like having him here. I don’t know if I ever mentioned but Jesse’s, like…there’s no way he’s not on his way to the Olympics. His schedule’s busy. And I won’t see him much once school starts up. I got selfish with him and stopped thinking about anyone but myself.”

“Love can do that, especially when you’re new to it.” Mom didn’t sound mad. She sounded wistful. And finally, she did stand. No lecture or disappointed look or anything. “Technically, you’re not allowed to sneak people in through your window in the middle of the night. But, technically, Fritz shouldn’t be in your room either.”

“My room’s just a hotspot for wandering souls,” Eugene cracked a grin.

“Mhmm,” Mom replied, a tiny smile tugging at her ‘harried mother’ expression. She was never good at that particular expression.

Eugene didn’t trust that his room was safe until long minutes after his mom had left. When he was sure she was gone and no one else was appearing, he crouched on the ground and pulled up the bedding that dripped down his bed.

“You still under there?” he asked. Jesse didn’t immediately move but Eugene could see him shifting in the shadows. “Will you come out from there? I’ve got a lot I’d like to say to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so often in my Nichoji fics, Eugene's the secret MVP. well, lads, the script has finally been flipped and the baton passed to his little sister because Luna is truly the MVP of this fic. she broke her window and put up with hours of Jesse pining over her brother at her all for the sake of getting them together ~~and she was hella grumpy about it the whole time~~


	11. Chapter 11

Jesse squirmed out from under the bed and got to his feet with as much grace as was possible after hiding under a bed like a kid playing hide and seek. He regarded Eugene with well-earned suspicion.

“Come sit?” Eugene asked, gesturing to the bed and this time meaning he’d like Jesse on it, not under it.

Jesse took the invitation, but he only sat so that his feet were still on the floor. Not surprising, really, that he wasn’t feeling generous enough to crawl up to what Eugene had long since started thinking of as Jesse’s spot against the length of the wall.

“Did Luna really say she was going to bed?”

“No.”

“Then I should go talk to her.”

“Okay,” Eugene said. He hadn’t sat down yet and he still didn’t, an offer to take Jesse across the house. “I’d bet you that she _is_ asleep, though.”

“What would you bet?”

“Anything you want.”

Jesse said nothing to this and Eugene waited until he made his decision.

“Fine, then. Why did you flag me down?”

And there it was. Eugene sat down next to Jesse.

“There’s nothing I love more than my family,” Eugene said. “Not anything. My little siblings are all terrible chaos demons and I love ‘em all to death. We get into fights but I’d never do anything to hurt them. I’d never do anything to hurt Luna. And if you were with her—in _any_ sort of way at all, even liking you was dangerous territory.” Eugene had been speaking to Jesse’s profile since the start and only this managed to get Jesse to turn his head slightly, but not all the way. Like he thought if he looked Eugene head-on, he’d stop talking. He didn’t. “So I locked you out. I figured that’d fix it. I was getting…mean. And I didn’t like that but I just needed a second to catch my breath and let it go. Let you go. But I never could because you kept coming back and I always wanted you to come back—every time you leave my room, by window _or_ door, I start waiting for you to come back.”

“You mean it?” Jesse asked quietly, wonderingly.

“I do.” Eugene couldn’t help the small smile that warmed him momentarily as he looked at Jesse. But this mess wasn’t cleaned up yet. With a heavy sigh, Eugene trundled onward. “At first, I only bullied you a little because I thought it was funny. And that’s basically my duty as a big brother, you know? Give Luna’s boy a hard time and all that. But I took it too far the other night. I was mad at myself for catching feelings for my little sister’s might-as-well-be-boyfriend and I took that out on you, which wasn’t cool of me.”

“You should have talked to me.”

“I couldn’t have. I could _never_ have gone after you, Jesse. If Luna hadn’t called me a clown for thinking you were anything but a friend to her, I never would have. And not because I don’t like you enough,” Eugene said firmly, recognizing the dissatisfied expression taking Jesse’s face. “I’m not perfect but I like to think I’m a good brother. I wouldn’t steal you from Luna, even if I could. I wouldn’t even think about it. That’s why I couldn’t have talked to you, even if you would have told me that you didn’t even get your straight-checking kiss from Luna in the end. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself because I’d always know, even though it all worked out, that I was willing to try, just a little, to steal you from her. And that’s not me. I’m not a cheater. I wouldn’t hurt Luna like that. And I wouldn’t put you in that position either. But I went overboard with the teasing and I’m sorry for being mean, Jesse.”

“I know I’m a lot to handle,” Jesse said haltingly, which wasn’t at all what Eugene had expected. “And it’s okay if you’re not up for it. I didn’t even think about it like that, I was just too worried you’d stop putting up with me if you weren’t doing Luna a favor by it. But I wanted you to like me. I always hoped you might. I never saw the problem with it. I thought explaining the situation after the fact would make everything okay. But I should have realized…I even knew that Elaine cheated on you but I—,”

“Hey now, this isn’t Elaine trauma. It’s just plain old me. And don’t worry too much about it. If you’d mentioned earlier that you’re gay and not involved with my sister, things would have been easier, sure, but I did almost bash your skull in the first time we properly met so I don’t think this was meant to be a cakewalk from the start.”

“But—but I lied and took advantage for months and made you feel wrong for liking me when I was _definitely_ trying to help you along in developing feelings for me and suddenly I feel like you’re the one that should be mad right now but you’re not.”

“Is there a problem with that?”

“Yes! You’re still taking care of me!”

“You don’t want me to?”

“I don’t want you to feel like you’ve got to. I’m not exactly low-maintenance and if you date me you’ll feel burdened because I’ve been on my best behavior—,”

 _“This_ is your best behavior?”

“Yes! And I’ll only get worse because I’m selfish and needy and I want all your attention all the time!”

“Stop,” Eugene said, placing a hand on Jesse’s gesticulating arm to still it. “I told you not to worry. You’re not like Elaine, I’ve never thought you were, even a little. I can tell the difference now. And you’re not that. You’re a handful, but you’re one I’d like to hold and hold onto tightly. But it’s sweet of you to be so concerned about me, Jess. It’s like you’re looking out for me too.” Eugene let go of Jesse’s arm and took his face instead, guiding it to look at him again instead of straight on ahead. He’d already worked himself into something of a state, face faintly pink. “And you never answered my question. Do you want me to take care of you?”

“Why do I feel like you’re teasing again?” Jesse asked, holding Eugene’s hand at his cheek so he couldn’t let go. “You promise you don’t mind?”

“I promise.”

“Because I’ll probably get way worse. I’ll text you all the time when we’re at school and want to see you whenever possible and if I’m too much, that’s fine but I need you to tell me now because I’ll have a hard time letting go if you change your mind later.”

“I won’t.”

“Yes,” Jesse finally admitted. “I like it when you take care of me. I like you.”

Eugene already had Jesse’s face held close to his, so close that it was the slip of only an inch that brought their mouths together. Jesse’s hand squeezed over his and it was such an unbearably cute reaction that Eugene had to pull Jesse closer. Jesse tumbled easily and clumsily against Eugene, practically falling in his lap.

“You’re not really hard to handle at all,” Eugene said between little kisses. “Not right now.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Jesse laughed, high and clear and too loud to be allowed so Eugene muffled it with a kiss. Jesse gasped when Eugene guided his mouth open and got to kissing in earnest. But Jesse was bubbling with too much excitement to let Eugene show him how it was done and Eugene laughed as Jesse grabbed his face and kissed him with no rhythm at all. “Why are you laughing?” Jesse pulled away to demand.

“Because I like you so much.”

Jesse wasn’t buying it, his lips twisting down. But then he got distracted, pushing his hands up into Eugene’s hair. He paused, checking Eugene’s face to see if this was allowed. It was. Eugene couldn’t stop smiling, couldn’t help giving in to temptation and letting his own hands wander just a little, feeling lean muscle under thin shirt and hip bones angling out of tight jeans.

“I’ve just had my first kiss,” Jesse realized.

“How was it?”

“Perfect.”

“Good, because it’s not over yet.”

Eugene ran the flat of his palm around to Jesse’s back and all the way up his spine, which made Jesse shiver. When his hand reached the back of Jesse’s neck, Eugene cradled it, offering support for when he pushed Jesse backward. Again, he toppled easily. With Jesse back in his proper place on Eugene’s bed, Eugene leaned down to kiss his own personal monster again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, thank you all for tolerating my bullshit and reading a fic that spent absolutely 0 time at Kings Row or with any truly canon characters except Eugene and, arguably, Jesse. I love you all to pieces and had fun talking with you along the way! <3 Some notable moments from various conversations can be summed up as follows:
> 
> Everyone: FAKE DATING???  
> Me, realizing that technically this IS a fake dating fic but having never categorized it as such in my brain: 👁👄👁 
> 
> Everyone: sooo what tiktok inspired this? :)  
> Me, realizing that I did not save any of the videos or the audio that went with the trend back in DECEMBER that made me think of this plot: 👁 👄 👁 [1]
> 
> Anyway, thanks again for all the fun times, you guys! 💜💜💜  
> 
> 
> 1I did, however, spend approximately 3 hours trying to find it. I could not. Closest I could find was [this](https://www.tiktok.com/@eddie_teddy123/video/6780782410188524805?lang=en) off-shoot of the meme. Basically, the original audio was of chips crinkling and then someone asking 'you want some?' and was used to make jokes about boyfriends coming out of sisters' rooms at really absurd hours in the morning assuming everyone was asleep, but the subject of the tiktok wasn't. There were other off-shoots about robbers breaking in and finding people awake and there's [a whole other audio trend](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ0Er-D5lEg) of that scenario. Anyway, I can't remember a specific video that this fic originated from, but some amalgamation of the funny innuendos and scenarios in the original trend made me think 'oh, wouldn't it be funny if we took this idea and applied it to Fence? And you know who has a sister? And you know who's dumb enough to climb into the wrong window at 2 am? 😏😏😏' and then this happened. [ return to text ]


End file.
